the head and twisted thoughts

I wish one person on this planet could know me as well as I know myself, so I wouldn't feel so alone. I know I'm not alone, I have friends that I trust and depend on, without them I wouldn't have made it this far, with my mom and everything. They have to make up for the picture perfect family. Its just at night, with eerie shadows and my ceiling fan, I get scared. I get scared of that loneliness the night possesses, but still the night draws me in deeper and I don't want the morning light to come. I wish I had something to make up for that big empty space that comes to me at 1 am. I've been looking for it in myself, and I know it has to be in me somewhere, but I cant find it. Every thought of mine is tangled up in another, and everything is interconnected. I feel like life has to be easier than I'm making it, but from all views my twisted thoughts are the same.
I really don't think that flows, or makes much sense, but nothing does anymore, so deal.

Yesterday for silvers birthday I gave her the head. I hear death shrieks every time I think those two words. You would too if you pulled back your sheets and there it was. I'll give you a little incite on... it. In advisory in maybe January, we had to do this cologeing a shoebox project. I was partners with silver and to complete it we had to bring in an object that represented "knowledgeable" Silver brought in this box, and I pondered exactly what I would bring in. I went down to the basement for ideas. My sisters toys were spread out all over the floor, and I saw this sleeping beauty toy, with tattered hair. I picked it up and pulled off its head. Wala! The head was born.
In advisory the next day I pulled the head out of my pencil case and presented it to silver, who burst into her evil giggles. We were done with our collage, and had a whole two more classes before we had to present. Somehow we decided to give the head a Mohawk, but it didn't work, so we just chopped it all off. That left uneven clumps of brown hair in her scalp, so silver decided to go inside her head through the hole on the bottom, and get it out with a paper clip. Yeah, there is a good reason the thing is haunting me.
After the project was over, I took it home, and ever since than, it has been everywhere I've looked, upright on the hole where its neck should be, staring in my direction with cruel blue eyes. One night I turned off my lights, slid into the bed I made that morning, and felt something. I picked it up, feeling it, than raced to my ceiling light. In my hand was the head. I threw it in my nightstand, and gave it to silver. I should write a horror story about that head.

Today was field day. I hate sports of any kind, but this is okay. I felt the year coming to an end. Sleepy humid days are near,
"we are the champs! We are the tigers! We kick big butts! Ssss!!" Thanks to mark, carcrash is suddenly a pervert. We all looked at mark when carcrash said that, and he was like "its not my fault! He thought of it on his own!" which proves mark is really getting to him.