I was scared to go to sleep because I knew I wouldn't wake up without shaking to a nightmare

The impulse in my head,
Send signals to my heart
That makes it start to thump,
Than the thumps make me nervous,
And what I might do comes to mind,
And as if called,
My palms sweat,
My cheeks turn red,
My legs start to cave in,
And I could just die right now
You only just walked in the room

Me likie 'till the last line, which is just empty sounding. Should I have said "my endorphins trigger, makes me nervous" or something like that or would that just be to scientific?

It crossed my mind that everyone in the group is pretty reserved. SS is the only one who actually isn't frightened to say whats on her mind, or rather always has a secret to tell. I on the other hand have lots to say all the time but don't like to talk about it, instead I choose the less important things to say that entertains myself for the time being. Lolo is always deep in thought about something or another, just like theories and stuff that no one knows about. Ani has gone through so much, and never seems to have the urge to talk about it. It can get quite frightening when she does something completely unmoral, but seems okay with it. And Silver... shes the queen. She has no secrets, only an evil, scheming mind that never runs out of torturous plans to hurt people, that she'll gladly tell anyone who asks.

We all balance each other out in the end.

I still consider Kim one of us even though she isn't. Even though when ever I talk to her an awkward silence falls over, and I've stoped IMing her. It just kind of feels incomplete to know we're not her number one set of friends anymore.

Last night I had a nightmare. I was in my dads car, hiding under the seat because Ringo was pounding at the window yelling "let me in! Don't you want to hang out!? I have to talk to you! Why wont you let me in?" I dont remember the rest but I woke up with my hear pounding 1000 miles a second. And the feeling that something bad just happened.